We are already on Day 6 of this new month, which is the last month of the year. Which also happens to be one of my favorite months; next to my birthday month of course! I mean, this is a full on Talking Heads moment-how did we get here? It seems that April was not so long ago, but now here we are putting up Christmas decorations and trying to decide if I’m sending out Christmas cards or not this year.
One thing I know for sure is that November 2019 was one to remember. November was intense as it was heartwarming. November made me put a lot of what I have just learned about myself to the test. That should be read as: all my spiritual teachings were called upon and tested.
Mercury’s Retrograde was in full force, there’s no denying that.
It was met with packages being stolen from mailboxes.
Traffic jams and poor costumer service.
Bad Vegetarian Asian food. This one hurts deep, I’m a vegetarian that really-really loves her Asian food.
Flight and date mix-ups.
Half-eaten chocolate birthday cakes.
Worry and frustration.
Stomach bugs, allergic and physical reactions to things that are supposed to aid us when we feel like shit, but instead make it so we can’t take a shit for days. Eventually causing us more pain and needing other meds and relief.
And a lot of sleep deprivation, especially for Mami.
These days were tough, especially when my child was sick. I was weak, I was the one that gifted my son the nicely wrapped stomach virus for his birthday. Poor kid, so exited with all his presents and delicious chocolate cake, only to wake up at 2:30 am with a tummy ache that was the forefront for the vomiting that would follow.
It was a day and half of this. I was barely starting to eat again, but it took my kid longer since he was scared of having to vomit again. He lost weight and wow did he stretch. Along with his weight he lost all the baby that remained, he is a big boy now and that on its own had me emotionally shook. Must have been the sleep deprivation, but it caught me off guard. Hard.
These days required extra affirmations, meditations, and prayers. They challenged me, especially on those days when my ego tried to creep up and make me worry about things that I had no business worrying about. I had to quiet it down, when It wanted to ask “why me?” when we all know the answer is “why not, me?”
The constant asking, “hmmm, is this a test?” made me wonder if I would fail. My faith kept me afloat while prayer healed hearts and quieted the storm that was brought on by doubt.
But you see, as entertaining and unforgettable the certain urge to vomit and poop is, this isn’t IT. This is not what made November 2019 one to remember.
What made this November one to remember was the love, passion, faith, and strength that it brought along with it. The surreal moments that I was able to witness along with the excitement of it all, that at times overwhelmed me so much that sleep would be lost. But I would still manage to wake up rested, that’s what happens when wanderlust is what keeps you up at night. Not scientifically proven, but it sounds legit.
What made this past month memorable included my village coming out and stepping in when I was ill. My family took over and helped each other, help me. This included getting my son ready for school, feeding both he and I, and just making sure he had attention when I was too ill to provide it. Yet, again, confirming that I made the right decision in coming back home.
This made me recollect the few times I got sick in Berkeley and was alone. Especially those times that required an ER visit, waiting on a friend to be able to take or pick me up from the ER. These would sometimes require a 7-10 hour Greyhound ride for my mom. Once my mom was picked up at the station and delivered to my house, I felt some relief and most importantly less alone. I’m not ashamed to admit it, having my mom by my side made all the difference in my healing and my overall wellbeing. To this day, this remains true.
It also included, family and friends taking days off from work to celebrate my son’s 4th Birthday.
Friends calling me to plan birthday adventures for my son while 400 miles away.
Friends booking flights to spend less than 24 hours with my son to celebrate his 4th birthday and take him on an adventure.
Friends showing how much they love me, by loving my son so damn much to go the distance to make his day special even if they can’t be here to celebrate with him.
I still sit in awe of this, my son is one lucky kid. He has so much love all around him.
Some of the moments that were surreal, was one weekend in particular. After, both my son and I were in recovery mode. I attended an event, a workshop/mixer if you will, for Latina Entrepreneurs by LATINAFest.
I almost didn’t go, because even though I got up early, it was not early enough. The 710 was backed up, my usual 30 minute drive to Pasadena was now going to take me over 40 minutes. Ego was about to stop me, but I said my mantra: “I release all fear, anger, lack, and worry and I step in the knowing that with God all things are possible” and off I went. My mission and my intention was to get there when I got there, safe and sound, hopefully in time for the panel. That’s what I was mainly interested in, the panel of 5 amazing badass boss babes sharing their story of how they made it.
I jammed and sang along to my Christmas music. I enjoyed the drive through some of the neighborhoods and took mental notes of the houses I liked. I got there, I found parking, I applied my red lipstick, and off I went. I was definitely feeling myself, my red lipstick matched my red pants. Yea, I was ready to make shit happen.
I walked in, the event had not yet started, they were waiting on folks to get their food and find a seat. It was going to start in 15 minutes.
You guys, I don’t think you understand how this made me feel. I didn’t let ego, get the best of me and cancel or poison my mood with negativity. I was on time, with enough time to get some breakfast. I was on a high and I felt great!
I sit, start up a conversation with this lovely young woman starting her own homemade goods business. We hit it off, she’s a first time mom trying to get this business started. I share, how I accidentally became self-employed, how now I’m hooked and can’t see myself working for anyone else.
I shared with her some of the knowledge that I had just acquired from some of my readings, along with some information that I would share with many of the folks that would approach me about wanting to start a nonprofit. It surprised me too. But you know what surprised both of us even more? That everything that I had just shared with this young woman was later affirmed by the women in the panel. We both just looked at each other and nodded. I mean, I knew I wasn’t talking out of my ass. But I can honestly say that I was surprised that some of these words were coming out of my mouth, so to hear the women paraphrase what I had just said was insane! Which made me blurt out “You see I’m not a crazy woman, just talking craziness” she nodded and laughed, but I honestly do think I was saying that to myself not to her. But sure.
As if that was not enough inspiration for one day. The next day at 9:00 am, I’m sitting in an ad hoc meeting with a California State Senator and 4 other housing advocates at the Democratic Convention getting the 411 on a housing bill. Talking strategy and tactics on how to get a bill passed. It felt surreal. It felt strange. It felt amazing. I felt blessed. This is what I worked hard for. I didn’t attend the Convention…this year, but I will.
Needless to say, that after all of this, I was exhausted. I was emotionally and physically exhausted. My heart, soul and mind, had been on overdrive. So many things to process and take in. So many emotions to feel and acknowledge.
But I’m not done yet. Remember that thing I mentioned that kept me up at night, that good sleep deprivation (is there such a thing?). Well, here it is. During all of this, I had taken Jen Sincero’s advice from her gospel “You are a Badass” and I wrote down the life I wanted for myself. This includes financials, love, career, home life, traveling, everything you have dreamed of. Or better yet, that you believe you deserve. Well, I did it. 5 narrow-margin pages later, I was too excited to sleep. I loved it, I was excited. I saw myself doing this all, living in my dream home, with my son and mother. It was hard to stop writing.
Obviously, this is for nobody else, but me. Well, for me, the Universe, and God and you all to witness. The goal is to read it twice a day, to read it and believe it. Get excited about it, bringing it forth, by your own belief. I do, I try. It’s okay to make edits and add things to it. You change, your wants and needs change, why wouldn’t this? There’s things that I’m like “oh I need to add this to my life vision” I have no idea if that’s the name of it, but that’s what I’m calling it.
So yea, in a nutshell, this my dears is why November 2019 is one to remember. There were so many moments of hurt, pain both physical and emotional, but also of love and wonder. Moments that were surreal and amazing, others that were amazing and bittersweet. Moments that were made to remember and others that I wish I could forget. There were also those moments that made me remember. Like walking into Northgate on Thanksgiving morning and hearing a Sonora Dinamita song blaring on the speakers, took me back to my childhood. It took me back to Thanksgivings and Christmas’ as a kid. As a bonus the trip down memory lane made me not mind the crowd and long lines.
I’m sure there’s also some moments that I have already forgotten, I’m sure they will pop up when they are needed or when it is the most inconvenient. That’s how these things usually work. Hence, in the long run making these moments memorable too.