2019…WTF?

I don’t want to sound harsh or anything, but damn 2019 was a hot ass mess! Don’t get me wrong there were plenty of good times, many moments full of laughter and joy. But at this very moment, I’m a bit relieved that 2019 is done with.

Along with the good there were plenty of moments that left me wondering and at times even questioning if my common sense, was…maybe…not that common.
It cannot just be me, I’m sure you had your fair share of “WTF?” moments. I know people across the globe, across the country, and even my neighbor did. I’ll go first:

• My kid started school (yay!?!?), nobody prepared me for the plague that would follow him home every other week. His first four months of school he was a ball of snot and at times I felt as if I was sleeping with a 300lb trucker, his snoring due to his congestion was that bad.
• I wasn’t prepared for homework either, does it even work at this point? What exactly are we trying to accomplish with homework so early in the game? Someone explain this to me, please.
• Lack of communication amongst government agencies is a real THREAT, at least to my sanity. Paid for my DL a month in advance. Realized the day of my birthday that I had yet to receive my DL. I rush to the DMV the day after; since, I’m there I might as well get the REAL ID. I brought in all of my paperwork; however, the clerk declares that my license has already been issued and expires 2024. Yet, the check had not been cashed and I hadn’t received it-obviously. She calls Sacramento no clear information provided but will “re-issue” and make it a REAL ID. I come home to find my DL. They had mailed it to my old address, which is ironic because the reason I couldn’t do it online was because I was changing my address. A week later I get the REAL ID. A week after that I get a notice from the DMV stating that they need more information from me to confirm my residence. WTH? All this information was provided when I went in. I just respond…I really can’t at this point.
• Phone interview for a potential new job. Towards the end I ask about the salary, they advise me that they don’t have that information available. They can’t even provide me with a range. What?
• Apply for KP insurance, call NYE-eve to check the status of my application which I did earlier in December. They can’t find my information, nothing. I provided my payment information and everything, I’m not in their system at all. So, this guy I spoke with for over 45 minutes did what exactly?

These are nothing compared to those moments which have left many of us wondering if it could get any worse. I shouldn’t ask that, right? But honestly, some of the issues that have occurred around the globe and nationally have left many of us; me for sure, with that puzzled look on our face, wondering what in the world is happening? These were moments were it just seemed that we were living in an upside down world straight out of the Mad Hatter’s Rule Book. Moments were we wondered if there was any hope for humanity:

• Former Kentucky Governor Matt Bevin pardons murderers and rapist. Apparently, he believed that no rape occurred because the victim’s hymens were intact. What?
• This one really hurts, because damn I admired her: Nobel peace prize winner is defending her military claiming that no genocide was ever committed against the Muslim Rohingya. Yes, you read that right-Nobel.Peace.Prize! 1991 winner Aung San Suu Kyi, now the leader of the government of Myanmar, traveled to The Hague earlier this month to defend her government against charges of genocide. Although, there is alarming evidence that more than 10,000 people were killed. What the what?
• Family separations. I can’t deny that this weighed heavy this Christmas, as I saw my kid enjoying his holiday. I couldn’t help thinking of those babies being kept from their parents. We are so going to hell for this one America.
• Refusing health care for people at Detention Centers, even worse refusing Flu Shots for recently arrived migrants and instead arresting doctors for protesting this inhumane act. Even after the CDC recommended flu shots be provided, after influenza deaths have already occurred at detention centers. Seriously America?
• India issuing their own Muslim Ban. The new Citizenship Amendment Bill, provides a path to citizenship for immigrants from Afghanistan, Bangladesh and Pakistan-unless you’re Muslim. This leaves out India’s 200 million Muslims. Why?

You guys, I had so many more to go: women’s reproductive rights- in jeopardy again, Impeachment, Weinstein declaring himself a champion for women in Hollywood, Flint water crisis (still), Puerto Rico getting denied the aid they so desperately need. Fires in Australia, Bolivian coup, the hot mess that is CATS! Oh yea I went there, why would you do this? As you can see the list could goes on. But then we will be left with nothing but bitterness and disdain for 2019.

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But as with anything that has come to an end, we must look for the silver lining. Sometimes it’s hard, but in order to move on extremely necessary. Look at it this way, in most of these cases we learn that we must not make Gods out of mere humans, we are capable of evil-Aung San Suu Kyi.
We have doctors putting their lives on the line for people at the border, we have Indian Citizens and students protesting this insane Citizenship Bill. The same goes for those that are protesting for Climate Justice.

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Shit, I can’t say it hasn’t been hard but I also don’t want to focus on the negative. I don’t want to focus on the shit that pulls at our heartstrings, at the things that make us cringe, cry, and just shout “fuck it!” For that quick second, when we feel like crap, when we feel are hearts break, we want to believe that we can turn it all off. That we can: not care anymore. We wonder what it would be like to walk on this planet not caring. We smile. But then we realize, “if not me-Who?” You realize that not caring, is simply not an option. Although, it might seem like a beautiful fantasy, we are brought back to this world realizing that not caring might just make this earth a nightmare. As we have learned, things can always get worse.

Thus, to you my fellow bleeding heart, I say: 2019 was insane but we pulled through. 2019 taught us that we still have a lot to learn, it taught us that we still have a lot more to give, and even more to receive. We still have much to love, much to see, and much to fight for. 2019 made us human again, it brought us back to life from that clouded surreal dream we had when a clown was elected. Yea, things keep getting worse under his reign, but more lions keep waking up and defending what’s right. Defending our freedoms, defending our humanity. Others have realized that this is their time to make things right. Those defenders before us, made things good for a few, but now we want to get it right for everyone. Equal is no longer the end all, now we are striving for equity.

More and more people have woken up and taken off their blinders and realized that their vote does matter. That the “professional politicians” can’t do this on their own, while realizing that others simply won’t do it because it is not in their best interest to do so. More and more people are realizing that America is not the sweetheart we all thought it was. People are realizing that racism did not die with the end of Jim Crow, we just gave it another name and covered it up with bureaucratic red tape.

Many are realizing that science and climate change are in fact real. While others are realizing that politicians are not the best at dictating what’s real, what’s fake, what’s sacred and what’s not.

2019 has given us many heroes, some young, some old, none wore capes, but a few gave up their lives to protect some of those that were endangered simply because of their beliefs or origins. It gave us moments in which we loathed the wealthy for not paying their dues, but it also gave us those moments in which we appreciated someone having money to spare to pay off student lunch debt and education loan debt.

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2019 taught us that being “color blind” is not the way to go. Seeing my color means you see ME. All of me. The lesson here is not to hold my color against me.

2019 taught some of us that white privilege is not evil, but walking around like you don’t have it is lunacy. The same goes with male privilege.

2019 brought us many lessons, tears, but it also brought us many moments of hope, love, and joy. We just have to remember that these don’t make the headlines. Waking up is a miracle. Having a job, going to school, having a home, is all something to be proud of and in my eyes headline worthy. But since I don’t own my own paper, I’ll simply say:

“I see you! Doing your thing like no one else can. Keep it up! I see you! We see you! Every day that you walk, talk, and breathe on this earth is a blessing to all of us. Days are rough, but not enough to make that light of yours stop shining. We need your light, don’t keep that light all to yourself, this darkness of ours needs your light. Who is this We? It’s you, me, and they, it’s the collective WE! It’s all of US, none of us, and just you. It’s who you need US to be, your friends, your support system, your prayer, your ancestors, the air that you breathe, your UBER Driver, your barista, your mother, your father, uncle, brother, sister, your school teacher, your spirit guide, your BF/GF/SO/BFF/FB-it is who you need us to be! We see you! I see you! Keep shining and make 2020 one to remember!

Cheers here’s to a new year, a new adventure, a new decade (in my case in more ways than one), and a new perspective on life!

Don’t simply make 2020 personal, make it headline worthy!

Feliz Año Nuevo!