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Under the Berkeley Skies-Day 40: Lost for words…

09 Monday Jun 2014

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Hhhhhiiii,  I have not been drinking any of the funny juice this evening, I’m just trying to sound like Ross Gellar from “Friends.”

Not sure what I’m talking about? Watch this really quick:

Because today is a Ross kind of day, for some reason or another this day dragged. I should have known it would have been a tough one from the 100 times I hit snooze this morning. I don’t know if it was the heat or just the “meh”. Not sure what “meh” is, it’s that nonchalant feeling you get about everything and anything, that “I’m conserving energy, so don’t expect me to think or move fast, and you best not make any sudden movements Nod and say yeseither” type of mood. Mixed in with “don’t ‘puck‘ with me”, dazzled with “I want to be anywhere but here” feeling. Sprinkled with “I want to take a nap for at least 5 or 6 hours” mode. You know what I mean right? For both or safety, I think you should just nod and say “yes!”

I refuse to think that Monday’s suck, there’s just no way a day of the week could suck that bad.  Could it?

Let’s just say that for the first time in a long time, I was the first one out of the office. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough, I didn’t say goodbye  to anyone. I was out!

Okay, I’m sorry I will have to change the tone. This just all seems trivial.

I was going to try to do a weekend mashup, but I can’t stop thinking of the news I received. A daughter of a family friend, passed away this weekend in a horrible motorcycle accident, leaving behind a 6-year-old son and a husband who is in critical condition. Out of respect to the family and honestly because I just can’t play the image in my head again, I will not post how it all happened, for it was pretty gruesome.

black ribbon

I wasn’t close to this young mother, I knew her from family get-togethers. But I’m close with her Aunt, Mom, and little sister, which is what breaks my heart to think of the pain they might be going through. When I was contacted with the news of what happened, it just stopped me in my tracks. I couldn’t believe it, my heart sunk, someone so young,I was utterly lost for words.

Since, I was informed of what happened, I have been thinking of how easy we are wiped out from this planet. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not afraid of dying. But it just makes you question your notion of life.  Are you living the life you intended for yourself?  Are you happy? Do you have a happy life? If not, why? What’s stoping you from being truly happy? What goals have you achieved? Do you still have many more to go? What’s stoping you from achieving them?  Do you have a bucket list? Why? Why not go out and do those listed items today, in the present, and not tomorrow? As my grandmother use to say: “Tomorrow is never promised, today is your gift, live it as such” 

Do we live it as such though? Wasn’t I just complaining of how crappy this day was? I bet she (sorry out of respect to the family I don’t want to mention her name), would have wished to have a “crappy” day with her son.

Life. Ain’t it a hoot? You just never know how things are going to be or in what direction your next journey will take you. Will you live to be 50, 80, or 100? Only God knows, only the Universe knows what awaits you. I think our job is just to enjoy every second, minute, hour, day, year we have on this planet.

I use to be the type of person that saved items such as jewelry, perfumes, clothes, shoes, etc, only for special enjoy lifeoccasions. But a while ago, someone forwarded me an article written by a widow, whose wife had passed away from cancer. He was narrating how the hardest part of her passing was going through her items, all her “special occasion” items. He emphasized that every day he was with her was a special occasion, she was his special occasion, every day together was an occasion-to be happy. The moral of the story was that we should not wait for that “special occasion” or special event to come, we should make every day special. Simply because it is special, we get to see another day, spend time with our loved ones. We get to add another page to our story, if we are lucky enough it might be the start of a new chapter.

I’m not going to bullshit you and say that after reading the story I went hang-gliding, and climbed Mt. Everest. Nope, not even close. I did; however, make subtle changes. I do dress up, I wear my fancy perfumes, jewelry and even those special sexy undies we buy for our mate. This chick wants to be and feel sexy for herself.

I’m not going to lie there’s day’s I’m like Winnie the Pooh and other’s I’m like Eeyore, but lucky for me I snap out quick, if not I have a few Tigers in my circles that will.

Winnie the PoohWhat’s up with all the Winnie the Pooh references?

I’m not going to say something enlightening here folks, that’s just too much pressure and I’m pretty darn tired to come up with someone awe-inspiring. But I’ll leave you with this Moni-ism:

Don’t be stupid, don’t waste your time fighting, hating, or complaining about the crap you don’t have. Be grateful for the things you do have, be grateful for the blessing that is today because I don’t want to scare you or anything, but tomorrow is not guaranteed. So don’t let the last impression you leave on this earth be of acting a-fool

Not poetic enough? Fine, here’s a better one, by Earl Nightengale:

Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy NOW. Don’t wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it’s at work or with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and savored

Love you beautiful people. 
May she rest in peace, and may her husband get better so he may remind their son of the amazing mother he had. 

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Under the Berkeley Skies-Day 36-38: Mashup!

03 Tuesday Jun 2014

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Note: This post was meant for Monday night, May 2nd.  Hello my dears, I know it’s been such a long time…not really but every now and then it’s nice to be a bit a dramatic. It’s been a week, but since you and I are deeply committed in this love affair, that week feels like forever-I know, I would miss me too. But here I am, since I missed so many days, this will be a Mashup…woohoo! mashupWe love those don’t we? However, this time around I’m going to just highlight a few things that stood out.

  • The Lake trip: We went to Del Valle Regional Park, it was awesome! The place was beautiful, I mean really beautiful. It ended up being a large group, we had quite a space full of Central Americans..oh and half a Mexican. Me, of course. Anyway there were Salvadorans, Hondurans (these were the majority), Guatemalans, and  Nicaraguans. I didn’t meet all of them, just the immediate group that I was with-the Hondurans. They were incredibly welcoming and so eager to please, they couldn’t get over the fact that I was a vegetarian. It was killing them; especially, the older ladies. It’s a cultural thing, so when they finally saw me eat something other than fruit, they all celebrated and said “Al fin come!” (“you finally eat!”). This time I’m not exaggerating, they literally jumped up and started clapping. Like I said, it’s a cultural thing.

BudlightThere was so much food and alcohol it was insane. I was good, I didn’t drink…well, okay toward the end of the afternoon I had a few drinks of an ice cold Bud Light. In my defense it was Bud Light, which is honestly just water; so, it shouldn’t be held against me.

The thing that caught me off guard was that none of the adults went into the lake, only the kids did. I went in there for a while, but after having all the kids think it was cool to splash water in my face, I walked out. The thing to do was apparently eat, drink, and just hang out. Ummm, yea that wasn’t happening. I was in the outdoors, we all know what happens when I’m in the outdoors: I want to run, hike, get dirty, explore all that mother nature has to offer. So I left on my own, I was going to do a boat tour of the lake. However, as I was making my way there I noticed that there was a trail ahead; so, off I went. It was beautiful, I have never hiked with flip flops before but there’s always a first time for everything. It’s apparently a 9.5 mile hike, I did about 3.5 or 4 miles. I was running out of water and I was worried that my ankle might not make it back in one piece, remember flip flops and no ankle brace.

As I made my way back, I noticed that a tour boat was about to take off. I ran over and asked what I had to do to get on, the guy sent me to buy a ticket and said he was going to hold the boat for me. Bought my ticket, which was only $5 by the way…not bad. I don’t remember our tour guys name, but he was cute and very friendly, I do remember Shasa though, she was a beautiful German Shepard that was getting socialized as part of her training to become an aquatic dog rescuer? Okay, don’t hold me to this title, but she was in training to become a life guard or um dog. It was so beautiful and peaceful. I will definitely be going back, it is only $6 and you get to stay there as long as you want, well eventually they’ll send your crotchety butt home. But before they do, you can go on a hike or bike ride, then go for a swim in the lake, rent a kayak, or peddle boat, or other type of boats. No food, don’t worry they sell some greasy burgers. Yay for you, not so much for me. I will definitely be going there again before the Summer is over.

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  • Somos Familia: Not sure if you all remember or if my crazy self even mentioned this, Somos Familia: “supports Latino families with children who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or queer (LGBTQ*) and conducts education to create family and community acceptance. The group was started by two mothers to support other families with similar experiences.”  I have been asked to join their speakers bureau and share my story of growing up with a gay father figure. Why? Two reasons: 1) I’m not gay, I didn’t grow up to be gay as many people have the misconceptions that if you are raised by someone that identifies within the LGBTQ community you will be gay too. Oh no honey, that is not the case I love me my men!  2) To explain the importance of speaking about this as a family. I was never told my uncle was gay, I kind of just found out by walking in on him and his partner kissing. My mother thought I knew; thus, she didn’t feel the need to say anything. I was surprised, shocked, and freaked out. What did this mean? What did being gay mean? How would it affect me? Still to this day, my uncle has never talked to me about it.

I’ve also been asked to speak on creating a safe space: we have a loved one in our family whom we believe might be gay or bisexual. But we are not sure; honestly, it is not our place to even question. Consequently, we have decided as a family to let it be, and allow that individual to be or not be whatever they want to be. Either way it doesn’t matter, because there’s love there, and our love for this individual is not based on their sexuality. We don’t talk about it or ask them questions about their identity, we know who they are, their sexual preference bears no weight on the love and support we have for this individual.   Moral of the story is, I met with the coordinator of the organization and I mentioned that I really wanted to start getting involved. I only did the training a while back but haven’t really had the opportunity to dive in. This Friday will be my big break, not sure what I’ll be doing though. I really just want to shadow someone, and see what happens. No two meetings are the same, as all workshops have different themes; moreover, this is no light topic, reactions might not always be positive. But in addition to this, I was also asked to help with the communications aspect of it. I agreed, but told them once school started my schedule might vary and I probably wouldn’t be able to help them as much. But I’m really looking forward to working with this group, one of the founders is a good friend of mine, I actually call her my Bay Area Momma.

  • Fillmore and House! Well many of you knew I had a second job, or what I called the “Fun Job”, well that my friends has come to an end. My time at the “fun job” or the Fillmore as the venue is called, ended as of last Thursday. I had to work Hugh Laurie’s  show first though, I mean it’s F’n HOUSE ya’ll! Funny how my last night turned out to be a long one. But it was all worth it because before I left the building the Universe decided to put me, Hugh, and his sexy accent in the same space. He looked at me, smiled and said “Hi, how are you?” I holding everything I had inside of me not to ask him for a picture, replied with a polite “I’m good thank you!” We all know I secretly wanted to run up to him, hug him, and say: “House I love you, next to Yang and Meredith you are my favorite doctor! Now smile, you sexy-skinny Brit! Cheese!” But no, that’s all I got…wait, he did hold the door open for me. Hey that’s better than what happened when I met Burt Reynolds. I almost killed Burt, all I wanted was a picture with Hugh.
Fillmore May 2014: photos by Lori Glumac
Fillmore May 2014: photos by Lori Glumac
Fillmore May 2014: photos by Lori Glumac
It does sometimes!
Favorite MD’s along with House, of course!

However, what I’ve learned is that one never leaves the Fillmore. I’m working there next Sunday, some rapper guy’s show. I told them I could be on call for when they needed people, but I just can’t be on a schedule. School is starting shortly too, so I was going to quit anyway, I just did it now instead of August.

  • Summer Plans: enjoy lifeI’ve decided that on my time off; hence, this is one of the reasons I left the Fillmore. I want to explore Northern California more, at least the Bay Area. I’ve been living here for four years come this August (primero Dios), and I still don’t know many areas of the Bay. Shit, I haven’t even been to Tilden and that’s close by apparently, so I’ve heard…I know, I suck.

I’m determined to get out there, I’ve already written down some spots and calendared some events.  I want my summer to be about: exploring, loving, living, arts, creativity, earth, and soul. They may just be random words to you, but they are all connected for me. I want to dive in, breathe and experience it all and see what happens. You will bear witness to this, as I will of course chronicle every adventure and every crazy shenanigan I do. Maybe some of my readers might even recommend some must see places or experiences, or better yet you might even join me. Which would be awesome, as long as you are not a creeper, pervert, or nut job. Hey we are all special in our ways, but some are just a bit scarier than others.  I’ll be posting a list of the places I will be attending in the next few days.   I’m really excited about this.  Last Summer found me broken hearted and shit it decided to make it a bit worse. It was one ofscared the hardest summer’s of my life, but here I am a year later. Still standing and raising hell! So this year it’s all about fun and life, no tears, darkness or sadness…unless I’m crying due to laughing too hard or crying because we are all out of wine.

  • Maya Angelou: Unless you were living under a rock last week, we all know that our dear Maya passed away. I must say her passing, really affected me. It’s not as if I knew her, or ever met her. I knew her the same way many of you might have known her: through her work; which, is why I was really surprised by how strongly it affected me. I know, it might sound or be weird, but here’s the thing: when someone of Maya’s capacity passes you cannot help but be affected. Why? Because it puts your life in perspMayaective, at least it did for me. It made me think about my life, am I really doing something to uplift humanity or am I just taking up space? Will I ever be as great as she was? Will I ever get to be the humanitarian that she was? It just makes you think about your place in this world, what is your mark in this world? What legacy will you leave behind?
Yuri

Yuri was a proud and respected ally of the Black Panthers!

Needless, to say that I thought she was immortal. I never thought she aged; nonetheless, would ever pass. To my reprieve her words will in fact be immortal; however, that relief is minute compared to the great worry that is felt when one realizes that the great teachers and heroes/sheroes of our time are shuffling off the mortal portal.   Speaking of which we lost Yuri Kochiyama on Sunday night, amazing political activist  who fought strongly for social justice after her family was shipped off to an internment  camp during WWII. She was the one that cradled Malcolm X’s head when he was shot and killed. She pushed for Asians to join the Black and Brown struggle, stating that at the end of the day we are one in the same in this racist society.

I share with you my favorite moment and poem of Maya Angelou, if you watch it you’ll know why:

  • #16 Reddick

    #16 Reddick

    Josh Reddick, yea my new crush. I’m not really an A’s fan, but I’m a Reddick fan. He showed up at Martin Luther King, Jr Park for a baseball field dedication. The Foundation in partnership with other organizations and corporations were able to work on the baseball field in Richmond. The kids loved it, he definitely made their Summer.  He did a Q & A with the kids and even played with them. He didn’t; however, which is my only complaint about the guy did a photo-op. Some of the kids would have loved to have taken a picture with him. Shit, who am I kidding I would’ve gotten on that gravy train too, but it wasn’t boarding, he just left. Not cool guy, not cool.  But the guy is cute, he’s 27…that’s not that much of an age difference, is he single I wonder? Is he into larger than life Latinas? Don’t worry folks I’m not a stalker, that requires too much energy and time; furthermore, gas is too expensive.

But Josh, if you happen to be reading this call me? Wait, the guy doesn’t have my number, okay email me or twitter, wait tweet, ugh, who am I kidding…moving on.

  • Her Voice of Courage: I went to this amazing benefit art show on Saturday night. Proceeds from “Her Voice of Courage” benefited Pacific Links Foundation (PALS)’s to honor the bravery of human trafficking survivors in Vietnam. Sounds powerful doesn’t it? It was my dears, it was. I cried, I laughed, meditated, breathed, sang, and danced. It made me take a deep long look within. I heard stories of survivors, and people shared intimate moments of their life that called for courage. It was amazing. It was intoxicating, invigorating, and at the same time, purifying.

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I will admit that as I sat there, for a brief moment I felt weak. I felt that I had in fact no courage, that I was fearful; therefore weak. But my dear and courageous friend Kathleen, quickly snapped me out. She reminded me of things I had taken on, things I had accomplished, and most importantly, things I had left behind. All of these things require some sense of courage, I had it, I was fearful but I still continued on. I realized that comparing my life to those whose stories I was so openly honoring, was not doing me justice and was in reality doing a disservice to all the lessons learned, tears shed, sacrifices made, and most of all to those moments of bliss that come when one has faced one’s fear. I realized that courage might not wear the same gown to every single occasion but it shows up when you need it the most and in the most astonishing of ways.

This event was a perfect tie in to all that has unraveled in the last week in my life. If you notice there’s a commonality in all of those “highlights”. They all involve self-reflection, and self-contemplation. Okay, maybe not the Reddick one, that’s just…well, the guy is yummy looking. Anyway in all seriousness, I did a lot of thinking about me last week. Where am I in life? Am I really happy, am I doing what really makes me happy? Am I surrounded by the right people, am I surrounded by people that make me happy? Am I surrounded by people that see the real me and accept me as I am, do I see the real them? Am I okay with what I see? Am I okay with what they might see?  I have some answers, but for the ones I don’t, I know the  Universe will get back to me. Some answers were easy to come by, other’s weren’t, some were even painful. But that’s just part of being human, as long as I don’t dwell on the bad too damn much I’m okay. Let’s see what unravels, I’m sure it will be an interesting ride.

Well, my dears I think I ranted enough…to think these are just highlights.  Love you long time, and hasta mañana my dears. Don’t do nothing I wouldn’t do, but if you do let me know what you did. Sharing is caring!

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Under the Berkeley Skies-Day 35: Well, I guess not.

03 Tuesday Jun 2014

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Note: Hello my beautiful people, this is a delayed post, this is a post for Friday, May 23, 2014. Sorry for the delay but here it is. 

Happy Friday folks!

I’m not expecting to get many hits this weekend, on account of how it’s the long weekend and all, and most of you party people are already out and about doing your thing. While I,as the good girl that I am, sit here, in my pajamas, drinking some hot chamomile tea , as she types away to the beautiful sounds of Johann Pachelbel and his “Canon And Gigue in D major” plays in the background. What a thrilling life I do lead! I’m a wild one! I know it may sound pretty lame, but honestly it’s pretty relaxing. To be honest with you at this point I’m not really sure who I’m trying to convince about my lame Friday night. Am I trying to convince you or myself at this point? Meh!

On the real, I’m really tired. Yesterday, and even this morning I had something totally different planned for today. My evening was going to look something like this:  Run after work, do some core work as soon as I got home, jump in the shower. Now this is where it gets tricky. At this point I was going to decide if I was ballsy enough to make the drive out to San Jose on my own. My friend Tiffany, tagged me in an Instagram post for Seeing Things Gallery in San Jose, they are having a Morrissey Group Show today. See in case I failed to mention this earlier, I love Morrissey. I mean I really, really do love his music. It’s a tie between Elvis and Morrissey for me, can you say swoon!

Oh Elvis and your sexy pelvis!
Who needs antidepressants when you have Morrissey!

Hmmm, I’m really not as bad as some folks. I’ve met a few fans that have tattooed something Morrissey related or the hooligan himself tattooed on some body part. Hey, to each it’s own, but not my thing. I actually recently went to San Jose to see…well…Morrissey. It had been two years since I last saw him, and I was hoping for the same experience. Nope, didn’t happen. Those that know him, know he’s “special” which I really don’t mind. I love his music and you have to be “special” to come up with some of those lyrics. But this time around he was off, totally different energy from the last time I saw him. He wasn’t really engaging with the audience, he would turn around and face his drummer during the guitar solo’s, and most importantly he didn’t do a wardrobe change or worse yet he didn’t take off his shirt like he did in San Diego. It was great to hear him sing the music, but it wasn’t a great show. I’m being honest here. I’m sure he getting bum rushed off  stage mid encore didn’t help any either, but you could have done better Morrissey. I still love you, but I know you could have done better.

May 2014: Moz show-too close!
Oh yes, the one and only
That’s better
Hmmm, what to buy?
In our seats eagerly awaiting the man of the hour.
He’s there somewhere
I swear that’s him

 

Okay back to my plans, so I was either going to go to San Jose or check out Jose Antonio Vargas’ film “Documented.”  I was going to do something, I was going to take myself out on a date. Well, at about 3 pm it just all went down hill. For some reason or another I just started feeling really tired, I could barely keep my eyes open. My thermos was dry and I was too lazy to brew a pot.

As if feeling extremely sleepy was not bad enough, I had to finish a project I was working on to make sure the communications piece went out early Tuesday morning as people are logging in to their computers after boozing it up this weekend. Not judging, I speak from experience.

By 5:30 I knew running was not going to happen, but I wanted to make sure I was doing the right thing, so I dialed a friend. I text Theresa and asked her as my workout buddy what she thought I should do, she replied with “Go home, eat, sleep” I replied with “I love you!” Since, I’m a good girl that always does what she’s told, that’s exactly what I did.

Left the office after 6 pm, and got home in 20 minutes! God no! We all know that when we are in a hurry to get home because we have a full bladder or are on the verge of a meltdown on account of how extremely exhausted you are, the Universe likes to mess with you. It took me over an hour to get home, I was on the freeway for about 20 minutes before I got off and took the streets. Yup, an hour on the streets; needless, to say that I even took some side streets as to avoid the main roads. By the time I got home I was cranky, hungry, sleepy, and my bladder was about to burst. Going anywhere was definitely out of the question.

Which I’m okay with, since I have to wake up early tomorrow. I have to be at my friends house at 9 am! Damn, I was hoping to sleep in some, but I guess we are going to wake the lake up and help it get ready for its visitors. It’s moments like these I really do wish I could sleep in a car, but I can’t. For some twisted reason I can’t sleep in any mode of transportation. Sucks big time!  I totally envy those of you that can just hop in a car and clonk out. My mother is one of those, as soon as I start driving, her head starts assimilating those little dog bobble heads that people put on the dashboards, I mean, this lady can just knock out for hours. Jealous.

But I’m sure I’ll rest up at the lake, maybe take a nap there or something. Really looking forward to it. My friend is really excited I’m going, she asked me again today if I was really going. She even asked what I wanted to drink: beer, wine, liquor, I was able to say “no thank you, not drinking” I got to go until June 10th. I’m sure I can hang. I know I can.

So the plan for tomorrow, is get up insanely early try to get a run in before I go. I have to make up today’s miss. I’m not 100% committed to this idea, but I’m going to try. It will help my legs look better, what? Come on you know guys do a few reps before they go out to make sure their ‘guns’ look good. I’m doing the same.

Not that much happening today, sorry for the lame post.

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Under The Berkeley Skies-Day 23: Frustration-1, Me-0

08 Wednesday Jan 2014

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With dominion over your attention, you experience the true meaning of freedom which is more than merely experiencing a release from the thought form habits of worry, doubt, fear, dis-ease, discomfort and disharmony.  Authentic dominion over your consciousness is the ability to freely express, in your own way, the deep, mystical chords of spiritual realization and divine creativity.  From dominion, you move into the space of full-on living that characterizes the habits practiced in the lives of highly evolved people.”

  • Rev. Michael Bernard Beckwith.

That my friends is the meditative thought of the week. Why am I mentioning it? Because today I lived streamed service, not sure if I’ve mentioned it before but I’m a member of the Agape Spiritual Community. The Rev is both the founder and our main Reverend (you know what I mean). I was not going to stream in; actually, I had forgotten about it. But as I was scrolling down Facebook I saw their post reminding us of service tonight; since, I had one of those days I decided I needed some Agape.

I did feel a bit weird because I was drinking a glass of wine (my second one actually), but then I reminded myself that JC (Jesus Christ) would be cool with it. I mean, he did turn water into wine, right? He gets it! I’m good!

What type of day did I have? The type that makes you realize that you are not 100% in love with your job anymore. The type of day that makes you kick yourself for being so good at what you. Why? Because that means people trust you; thus, they give you more work. It was just one of those days that every email that came my way was a new task. I took it all in, my only thought was: “I hope they realize how many cookie jars they want my hand in!”

        • Where is the wine?wine
        • Nina Simone

Were the two things that popped into my mind as soon as I walked in to my house.

I know, Nina Simone? But for some reason that’s what I wanted to listen to. She was going to be a part of tonight’s soundtrack.

Oh but it got better, as I was preparing my dinner, I stopped to take a sip of my wine, when I happened to take a quick glimpse outside my patio. My “sip” turned into a gulp as I saw a guy get off his bike, get his things together and prepare his bike to be mounted on to his hybrid. At that very moment I could feel and see myself screaming at the top of the lungs like a crazy lady: “Yea, okay we get it! You care about the environment, you ride a bike and own a hybrid…oh don’t mind me (I envisioned myself holding my glass, toasting it up into the air), I’m just upset because my Hummer is still in the shop!” WTF? I have no idea where that even came from, I loathe Hummers and the D-bags that drive them. What did the poor guy have to do with my day? I seriously do suck. It wasn’t the wine talking, it was the frustration talking.

As I read the above reading I realized, I’m not ‘highly evolved’. I’m far from it. I let my wine breathe before I gulp it down, that proves I’m evolved, but not highly. I still have a long way to go. I still get easily frustrated. I hate that about me.

Here’s why: When I do something, I go all in, I give you 110% of myself. My work always surpasses any expectations you might have. I’m not being cocky, that’s just the way I am. I have no problem in going the extra mile to get a job done; as a matter of fact, I will work extra harder to make sure things are done on the time expected. So when I’m thrown all these new projects or responsibilities at the same time, it catches me off guard. It’s not because I’m not flexible, but it’s because I don’t like to do something half assed! I want to give you the best work possible, but if I have to work on four different projects at the same time, that might just not be possible.

I know that’s my ego talking, but that’s how I am.

I’m not a brown-noser, I’ve never been, never will be. I am a hard worker, I let my work speak for itself. I like to go somewhere and just blow people’s mind away, not by being the one that everyone likes, but by being the one that everyone can count on. I’ve always taken my jobs seriously, as per my mom too seriously. Every time I start a new job, she always reminds me it’s not my company, so I shouldn’t work so hard for it. But I can’t, it’s a part of me. She and my uncle taught me that hard work is the only way you get ahead and life; so far, that’s what has happened. I’ve moved up in every single office job I’ve had, with the exception of Greenlight (that place just sucked). I’ve started at certain companies as either a receptionist or office assistant and before I knew it because of my hard work and dedication I was promoted to supervisor or manager. I’m no joke, I’m the employee you want working for you. I’m not being cocky, I’m being honest.

Which is why I have such a hard time when I get hit from all sides with different assignments. Why? Because I know people expect the best from me, why else would they keep piling on the work? For example: I found out that one of my current bosses, really trust me with work assignments, apparently the person that had my position before didn’t do all that I do. I don’t know this person, I don’t know if she was capable or what her deal was, so I’m not going to talk crap. But that says something, doesn’t it?

I guess I’m also just frustrated because I promised myself that I would slow down a bit. With all these projects and deadlines, I really don’t see that happening. I have three big projects to work on: Spring round of capacity building grants, our national giving event on May 6, and a two day summit in May. Yup, who knows what other responsibilities my new boss is going to have for me, along with whoever will start in February. I just want to make sure I do and give the best of me in every assignment that I complete, anything other than that is not acceptable. I know I’m a bit hard on myself, but those are my work ethics.

dramaI’ll survive, just having a moment.

Okay, another thing that pissed me off today: Came across a special for an Elliptical, it was 75% off the regular price, it seemed like a good deal not to pass up, but I had to. See me buying something like that, and plugging it up in my apartment would mean that I would blow out a breaker, circuit or whatever those things are called, for the entire upstairs area. I’m not even kidding about this. If I were to decide to microwave some popcorn, all the while having my space heater on, and let’s black outsay my neighbor decides she wants to blow dry her hair, so she plugs up her hair dryer-LIGHTS OUT! No joke, it’s happened before. It also happened when my previous neighbor decided to turn on his space heater when I had mine on too-LIGHTS OUT! This is why I don’t turn on a space heater in my home, only an electric blanket, all the while hoping that I don’t get the munchies for microwave popcorn late at night.

I love this man!

I love this man!

I know this is lame, but it upset me that I had to think about this. I don’t think people worry about leaving their neighbors in the dark when deciding to purchase an exercise machine. But it’s me, we’ve already established that I’m a bit “special,” as in anything you think could not happen to a normal human being will usually happen to me. I’m the Latina Bridget Jones-paging my Marc Darcy! Stat!

There I vented, feeling better now. Thank you for listening. You rockYou rock

Enjoying my Chamomile tea now, no more wine.

I know it’s only January 7th, but I seriously wish it was January 2015. Why? Simple, this is what I see:

Me wearing red (fierce as always), cocktail in one hand, holding my love’s hand in the other, saying: “God what a year! 2014 was an awesome year, I traveled to Central America and Europe, got in to grad school, met the love of my life (we both turn to each other and grin thinking of the amazing sex we’ve had the previous year and most likely that morning), and yea I know this year is going to be even better!”

That my dear friends is my projection for this year, traveling, love, and yummy sex!

Fine, as long as you promise to do them again!

Oh, yea, slip in grad school in between the traveling and the sex.

I’m tired of sounding pathetic, I want to sound prophetic.

Thus, this is what I see for my life.

You-SuckI have my moments of weakness; hence, the need for wine and the poor hipster almost getting yelled at just for being green. But I’m sincerely grateful for all that I have. I have some of the things that I’ve always wanted: my own place, a career, a boot-less foot, and health. The other things I see for myself are on their way, I just needed time to prepare for my blessings.

Today I came across this quote from Eduardo Verastegui:

Llore y llore porque no tenia zapatos, hasta que vi un hombre que no tenia pies y era muy Feliz! Demos gracias a Dios en todo momento.

Translation (Darlings you must really learn Spanish, this is going to always be a thing in our relationship): “I cried and cried because I didn’t have any shoes, but then I saw an extremely happy man that had no feet! Let’s be grateful to God in every moment.”  It really hit home, because we always seem to bitch about things, forgetting that many have it worse, but yet see the silver lining in their situations.

That my friends is something I’m working on. I know I failed miserably today, but I’m high fivehuman. I snapped out; furthermore, you all were so kind to listen to me vent that I’m feeling so much better now. Seriously, you rock!

I’m ready for tomorrow, you know why? Because tomorrow will be a good day! Yup, I’m going to be rolling like Ice Cube tomorrow.

Here are some more ‘make your heart smile’ media. Love you my little darlings!

Geeking Out: Uganda’s Women are Creating the Next Generation of Girl Geeks

Watch this clip to the end, for some reason it made me tear up.

Here’s a few things to be happy about it, told ya’ll 2014 was going to be a good year!

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Under The Berkeley Skies-Day 22: I heart you!

08 Wednesday Jan 2014

Posted by in Motivational, Under the Berkeley Skies

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Hello lovelies, what a day I’m so tired today. I think staying up till 2 am to write a post did not help any, but what can I say? My audience demands more, I know a bit of grandgrandiosity on my part, but so it’s my blog and I’ll get as grand as I want to. I don’t even know if snapthat’s a thing but I don’t care, I’m GRAND so step off.

I swear I tried to wake up early again, didn’t happen. I woke up earlier than yesterday; however, not early enough. I’m trying to make it to work by 9 am, I’m salary so I don’t have a strict 9 am timeline. But I promised myself that beginning this year I would be in the office by 9:10 the latest, we are on day 7 of the new year and it has yet to happen. In my defense it was the brows, my eyebrows were all kinds of crazy this morning. FridaSince, I hadn’t cleaned them up all weekend because I didn’t go anywhere I was starting to look a bit like Frida; unfortunately, we cannot all rock her look.

This morning as I was getting ready I decided to watch Democracy Now, before Christmas it was part of my morning routine. During Christmas time I heard christmas music as I was putting on my make-up, we have established that I’m a holiday freak right? This cannot surprise you at all at this point. Anyway, I was a bit bummed at how ugly the world is can be. There were talking about the situation in Iraq, the legal limbo that the same sex couples in Utah find themselves, Limbaugh and Trump spitting out their nonsense about Global Warning being a hoax and how the media is using the “Polar Vortex” to scare people into believing that we humans are responsible for the current weather.

Since I refuse to give Trump any free press, I will give the mocking of Trump free press.

I say can, because I believe there’s a lot of good happening in the world, it just never gets talked about. For some reason or another we live in a world where good things go unnoticed, they never make the headlines. Why? Because we, humanity as a whole, have become comfortable with the bad.

“Girl, you out of your mind!” No, I’m not. Think about it for a second.

Our media is all about scaring their viewers, by the time the ten o’clock news rolls around you’re scared shitless at what they might say. But yet you still sit and watch.

I don’t get this.

scaredSee, I’m going to be honest with you: I’m a scary cat when it comes to horror flicks. I won’t watch them, I avoid them at all cost. I don’t see a benefit of getting the crap scared out of me, odd, I love going to Knott’s Scary Farm. I got issues, we know this, let’s move on. As I was saying, there are some movies; as for instance, anything having to do with stuff that can really happen as in exorcism’s (yea, I know I believe in them), I definitely cannot watch these type of movies. If a commercial pops up while watching a show online or on TV I walk away, mute it, or change the channel. It scares me, I said it. The last movie “Emily Rose” scared the crap out of me, my poor little brother who was still in high school had to poltergeistsleep in my room for about 2-3 weeks. I kid you not! I can watch movies with zombies or guys with masks but haunted houses, poltergeist, and exorcisms heck no! I will change the channel.

Interesting:

She scared the crap out of me in this movie: Poltergeist
But not in this one…16 Candles..hmm

So, why is it that you see this nastiness on television and still watch? You know it’s not good for you, but you still watch? The worse part is that regular media only shows the 12 monkeysbad stuff going on in the world. Unfortunately, I’m going to sound like Brad Pitt in 12 Monkeys but yea, some of the media outlets out there have an agenda, Fox News is the best example of this.

The worst thing is that:

…the dumbest people out there are usually the loudest…

I have to agree with Doyin Richards, they are the loudest and the dumbest. Who is Doyin Richards? He is a fellow blogger who has set a media frenzy simply because he posted a picture of himself doing his daughters hair all the while carrying his newborn baby. Yup, nothing major, other than being a good parent. His blog celebrates fatherhood, due to the picture he posted of him being a dad, he’s been in the media like crazy. Why? Your guess is a good as mine.

His article “I Have a Dream: That People Will View a Picture Like This and Not Think It’s a Big Deal” is a response to all the nonsense he received for his picture.

Some of the feedback was good, but some still found something to complain about. His children not being 100% black, how those are not his kids, that he wouldn’t be doing that if his kids were really black and that he’s just doing it as a photo-op. This is a guy that took a month off from corporate to bond with his newborn, and for this he gets crap from ignorant people? I don’t get what the hell is wrong with humanity.

I saw that picture and I couldn’t help but be reminded of my dad, my Tio (uncle) Arturo. He is my mother’s brother and he stepped up to the plate when my father wouldn’t. He raised me, what Richards is doing to his daughter was the norm when I was growing up. He was my playmate, caregiver, teacher, uncle, dad, and godfather all rolled up into one. Because of him I will never know what it is like to grow up without a father, because I always had one. Shouldn’t that be celebrated? Shouldn’t fatherhood be celebrated? Instead you have people talking nonsense about color, stereotypes, or trying to justify why they are lousy dads by talking about another fellow father doing the right thing.

Like the whole situation in Utah, that just pisses me off. I don’t understand why getting married is becoming such a big thing? The way I see it: Love is love! No matter what shape or form, if you’re genuinely in love with someone and that person feels the same way, go ahead get married or don’t, do whatever you want it’s YOUR decision and YOUR RIGHT.

The government should not try to hold laws based on fear. People that oppose same sex loved itmarriage are just scared, of what I really don’t know. Have they been to a gay wedding? I have, simply fabulous! So much fun! All kidding aside, if you’re not for same sex marriage, then don’t get married with anyone of the same sex! But let those that want to, do it. Simple. Things don’t really have to be all that complicated.

Even Chenney’s daughter resigned from running for the Senate, why? Because the dumb ass (pardon my French, but she really is a dumb ass, you’ll see), went on the record bashing homosexuality. Here’s the good part: I guess she forgot her sister is a lesbian, I mean she has come out publicly and this caused a stir between them. I told you she was a dumb ass! This caused a cat fight between them, and when you’re running for office the spot light is on you. So that was that. The other candidate did have 52% of the voters on his side based on the early predictions; however, this number skyrocketed after the sisterly cat fight. I wonder how Sunday dinners are at that house.

Again, I don’t understand humanity sometimes. I love them to death, but I don’t understand them.

See I know that the world can be an awesome place, I know sounds cliche, but I really do believe it. As humans we have the capacity to be kind to one another, but for some reason we rarely do it. We are in competition with one another, we let our ego handle our daily lives and we lose our decency in the process. Many put up a show, exposing what they believe the audience wants, not letting us see what is under their costume and mask.

Many run away from their pain and hurt, believing that is what makes them weak. The truth is my friends that just proves we are human, it demonstrates how freaking strong you are. How even though you have been pulled through the trenches you are still standing and the best thing ever,you are still capable of love.

I don’t know where this is coming from, those that know me, I’m sure are use to this. You see, I’ve gone through some tough crap in my life, but yet for some reason or another God has given me this ability to love. But when I mean love, I mean love. I love with all my heart, balls out, no holds bar-LOVE! Which means my heart gets broken a lot. But yet I still find a way to love again.

I tried being hard and closing my heart, but I couldn’t. It was lonely.

When I hear about all this stuff going on in the world, the Trumps, the Tea Party members, or just regular joe’s spitting their ignorance and their hate it just baffles me. But what’s worse yet is that this is what gets our attention. We don’t like it but we give it our full attention. Do you know of any of the good stuff that happened in the world today? In your city, town, or neighborhood? Shit do you even know your neighbor? Many of us don’t. I’m lucky to have the best neighbors ever, not the douchy law students (more the husband than the wife) downstairs, but the family next door that introduced themselves within the first week I moved in. The kids are the best, wishing me a good day in the mornings and celebrating the fact that one of them said hi to me. I adore them, they make me smile each time, even when they are screaming as they play at 8 am on the weekends.

I guess the news just disappointed me a little today. But don’t fret I still love you bitches! It’s both a blessing and a curse, you, humanity are the loves of my life!

love of my life

Ain’t that some bullshit?

Do yourself a favor, I know we will continue to see the news. We want to stay informed, even if we are not doing anything about it (my bad, sorry, I’ll leave that rant for another day), but for your own sake make sure you get some of the good stuff. There’s a lot of good out there, but it doesn’t get enough media exposure, because it just won’t sell.

everyday-super-hero-quotes-1Remember if you can’t ever find any of the good stuff to read about, you can always go out and do some good. Just a thought.

Here are some articles of things we might have missed. Some, make your heart smile good stuff. Never say I don’t give you anything.

A Homeless Dog Living In a Trash Pile Gets Rescued and Then Does Something Amazing!

An Honorable Last Wish For A Dying Marine

Restaurant owner with down syndrome runs the friendliest eatery ever. Read more at: http://www.amazingoasis.org/2013/12/restaurant-owner-with-down-syndrome.html

Hope that made you smiled some! Love ya!

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Under The Berkeley Skies-Day 17: Blah, Sniff, Cough!

03 Friday Jan 2014

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Good Morning my dears, this might be a two parter. I’m sure I won’t finish this post in time. It’s currently 5:55 am and I’m in Jet Blue’s Terminal 7 at Long Beach Airport waiting for my flight back to the Bay area. I’m on less than two hours sleep, sick, and wearing men’s underwear. Nope, you read right M-E-N-S underwear. It seems that along with my cell phone I forgot my undergarment bag, so I brought no extra socks, no  bra (other than the one I was wearing), and no undies! Which is why I’m wearing men’s undies, not boxers or briefs, they are like bikini’s or something. I didn’t ask questions, I was just happy they had them.

I kind of feel European, as if I’m going swimming in some type of canal or something. Daniel CraigBut the best image I get is of that hot guy that plays the latest version of James Bond…what’s his name?  Daniel “Damn” Craig! I’m sure I don’t look as hot as he does. But for some reason he’s what came to mind when I thought of sexy Europeans in speedo-like undies. Go figure.

At this point all you can do is laugh right? Pissed off mother, men’s undies, sick, no sleep, and as soon as I hit the bay I’m off to work! Yea that merits a laugh or a glass of wine, maybe I’ll just laugh as I drink some wine. That was a beautiful thought, let’s face it the only drink I’m taking is from a cup of hot chamomile tea.

This was me on NYE, on my way to the airport!
This is me now sick, too much fun I guess!
UGH! BLAH! Over it!

My poor uncle Eddie woke up at 4:30 to bring me to the airport, he rocks! He seriously does, to think I didn’t like him in the beginning. I thought he was taking my Tio from me, boy was I wrong. He seriously is awesome. I’m not saying that simply because he follows my blog (Thanks Uncle Eddie), but I’m saying that because he does! I feel spoiled each time I visit…wait, I’ve always been spoiled by them. But especially Eddie; although, he claims to not like kids he really took a liking to my baby brother and I.

He’s been my uncle’s partner for 22 years, they recently got married in July and we celebrated the nuptials in August. So yea he’s pretty much seen us grow up, he’s been there in some important moments of our lives.

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He’s a diva, we will not get it twisted; however, he’s all mush in the inside. But he will beat the crap out of anyone that messes with his boo’s; particularly, my Tio Arturo. He’s a hard nut to crack at times, it’s not always peachy between us, but our arguments are short term.

Let’s face it I can be a Diva at times, and we know he’s a Diva, so when tempers collide you better run for the hills!  But when things are good-they are good. Plus, I love spending time with him and just gossiping about the crazy things that go on in our lives.

Other than him spoiling the crap out of me, he’s extremely patient with us. He’s patient with my mom, little brother, and myself. I have my quirks, especially with my dietary restraints, he makes fun at me at first and yes he might bitch a little. More like “What now and why?” He will make special recipes for me and he will always make sure there’s something for me to eat. He knows how picky I can be with certain things, he knows what will fly and what won’t when it comes to me.

I love and appreciate it all, especially because I’ve had my moments of bitchy brat with him. I’ve stollen from him, he caught me with his ring so he got it back. I was a dumb teenager, what can I say. I told my Tio he took me by his “ex’s” house, apparently he was only testing me or something, I totally failed that one. Hey, give me some credit I’m protective of my Tio. Furthermore, as I’ve mentioned before we have gotten into some ugly spats, but we are still tight as thieves (no pun intended). That’s what family is all about right?

cocktailOh and he makes the best drinks ever! Oh, don’t get me loved itstarted on his cooking skills!

I love this man so much! Best part is he doesn’t judge the madness in our family, he decorates it, like only he can!

Part 2

Hello my dears, I survived work-barely. I was dying and I so didn’t want to be there. I even knocked out during my lunch break. The Dayquil didn’t work, before I went to the office I stopped at Target and loaded up on all the fixings to make me feel better: Dayquil, Nyquil, cough drops, and some veggie breakfast sandwiches, I was hungry and craving carbs. Ugh, I even coughed up $5 for a Latte, it was going to be a long day and the office has crappy coffee.

Something was weird in the office today, there was some type of tension in the air. I don’t know, maybe it was just me. But I think something’s up and I need to brace myself, changes always seem to be bad news for me at work. I know we are getting a new hire on Monday, who I will be working with. She’s suppose to be all  Zen and stuff but you just never know. Pressure and stress makes people get all types of crazy, especially when people are expecting you to convert water into wine.

Something dawned on me yesterday, we are expecting to hire two people for this one position. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for whatever allows us to continue doing what we do in the community, but what has me puzzled is my place in all of this. I know I’m going to be working with the lady that starts on Monday, but what about the other person? Am I going to be assisting that person too? That’s going to be three bosses for just one of me. I kick ass at whatever I do, but I don’t think I can handle all of that. Grants alone is a lot of work and but we are also getting ready for the May giving campaign, you throw in trying to learn how two new people work? I don’t know about all that.

I hope my already existent bosses have thought this through. I’m good, but not that good. I guess we’ll know at Monday’s staff meeting.

Plus, I have grad school to think about. I need to get going with that application, I want to submit it by the end of this month. I wonder if they will still want me around, when I can’t work full-time. I was thinking of putting it on hold for a while, but I think a year is long enough. Moreover, if I really want to move up I need that Master’s. I don’t think my career is going to go that far at the Foundation, the only positions one can maybe move up to are already occupied. I will have to look elsewhere when the time comes, maybe in the Council of Foundations. I still have my political goals, but you need to grow your social circle a bit in order to make things really happen. We’ll see, I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.

I’ll let you know how things pan out.

The Nyquil is slowly kicking in…Nyquil

Oh yea, before I knock out, 2014 started with me traveling. Yes, I’m aware I was flying back from my trip to LA; nonetheless, I was traveling! It’s the little things that make up the big things loves! It depends how you look at things: positively or negatively? Always shoot for positive!

Glass half empty or half full? I don’t care, as long as the bartender keeps filling it right bartenderback up!

Hmmmm, Benny Goodman’s “sing, sing, sing” just popped into my mind.

Who in the hell is that? Just one of the greatest Clarinetist of the Jazz Swing era, you really must expand your horizon’s my dears…let’s start tonight!

My dears I introduce you to the “King of Swing” himself, I dare you not to tap your feet as you listen.

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Under The Berkeley Skies-Day 14: Casino Time

28 Saturday Dec 2013

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Hello my dears, I’m currently sitting in the back seat of my uncles’ car on our way to San Diego, California. By we I mean: Uncle Eddie and Arturo, mom, and myself. By San casino-slotsDiego I mean to a casino in San Diego, we could care less about the zoo or Seaworld, San Diego is all about casinos baby! These folks are all about gambling, well my Tio and mom are, Eddie and I are in it for the Vodka and shopping. Unfortunately, we cannot do it simultaneously, something about drinking in public and it being against the law. Debbie downers!

The last time my uncles and I went to a casino was last year when I got back from Costa Rica and we left to Palm Springs for a few days. Oh lawd, did I get drunk with Eddie. I came back craving Grey Goose Sour Apple Martini’s and oh wow did I get my share. I woke up so sick in the morning and I was freezing poolside. Yes, in the middle of summer and in the dessert I was freezing! It was awesome!

I’m sure this trip will be memorable too! Looking forward to all the things I won’t be able to buy at the outlets. Sarcasm is my coping mechanism sometimes.

I just transferred $250 to my friend Sandra’s account because her dad is going to work on my car. I swear that car better give me five more years or at least get me laid. Hey, someone might think a Corolla is hot! 

So, momma can’t buy herself…much. Let’s face it, we all know I will most likely end up buying something. I know for sure not shoes, just bought me three pairs. What? I need them, apparently I need to start getting fancy with the shoes I wear. Hey, doctor’s orders! Since, I’m good at taking orders (not really, only when it’s to my benefit-usually only in the bedroom), I went ahead with the purchase.

At the end of the day it comes down to the following:

    • I’m like Donna Summer, I work hard for my money-2 jobs to be exact. So whyworks hard for her money not spoil myself from time to time?
    • Nobody buries the money with you when you die
    • I said I was going to start saving in 2014. There’s always a loophole my dear!
    • It’s my money and I’m a grown ass woman and I can do what I want with it, right? ohsnap

Moving along, today was a good day.  I spent time with my mom, we got mani’s and pedi’s together. That was her Christmas present to me, loved it. I had two guys working on me, one doing my toes and the other doing my hands. I must say I loved every second of it. They were so gentle and took their time, the one chap working on my toes was extra attentive with my ankle area when it was massage time.

I love how I always feel so feminine after I get a manicure. Believe it or not I have a ‘thing’ with my hands, I have extremely small hands and I’ve done everything from wearing a ring on every finger to french tips. But for now I’m loving the red gel, I swear I can’t think of gel without thinking about Anjelah Johnson and the Nail Salon bit

Then I met with my friend Theresa for lunch at her place, this girl always puts a smile on my face. To think that when I first met her, I didn’t like her. We both went to East Los Angeles College (ELAC) but it was not until we got to CAL that we became close. I’ll never forget the first time I met her, we were in a Lit class and we had to get into groups, our friend Johnny wanted us to form a group. So we sat together and I said hello to her, she replied with some attitude, “Oh hell no, I don’t need this shit!” I quickly got up and joined another group. Never again did I talk to her. Johnny was the only person that I knew from ELAC at Berkeley, Theresa  (also an English student), transferred the semester before. “Good for her!” was my reaction when Johnny told me that Theresa was on campus too. For two years I managed to stere away from her; until, her last semester there. We all ended up having to take the same Lit course, I asked Johnny to save me a spot because I was coming from the other side of campus. Of course, Johnny would save me a spot next to Theresa, “Oh great” was what I said under my breath as I made my way up to them. That my friends was the beginning of a love story, she and I ended up being great friends to the point that our friendship outlasted the one we both had with Johnny. We barely saw him that semester and we haven’t heard from him since graduation. We wish you well soy bean!

During lunch we talked about our friends and plans for the future. She will be moving back up to the bay area, which makes me extremely happy. We see nights of yummy food and wine tasting in Sonoma as we visit my friend Sandra in school. Have you ever had a friend that gets you, I mean really-really? Well, this is one of them. I have a few friends that know me so damn well it’s scary, but let’s just say that with this chick we would be the perfect lesbian couple IF we were lesbians. Love that chick!

I might be signing off soon, we should be arriving to the casino. Which is great because I’m starving, I hope we eat. You never know with these folks, they don’t get sleepy, hungry and their bladders seem to get bigger as they never use the restroom. At home my mom can barely stay up till 10 pm, but when she’s in casino mode she can stay up till 3 am with no problem. It’s ridiculous.

Valet parking always makes me feel like I’m arriving at a ball. That guy is cute, why is it that valet guys are cute? Got to go!

Hey folks this place is gorgeous and the people are so freakishly nice! I love it, the hospitality here totally beats Vegas! In case you missed it, I really do like this place.

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Casinos are such a trip to me though, the smoke, the velcro, running-suits, the old couples running from machine to machine, the different superstitions people have when gambling. I’ve seen everything from lining up their color coded trolls to people touching or rubbing the screens as the numbers and lights flash in front of them. The drunk guy yelling at the poor bartender about how he wants two Long Islands: “Why can’t I get two? Fine, this guy here will take the other one!” as he introduces himself to the poor guy that just sat down next to him. The best part of casinos is watching the older folks casino-old peoplerunning from machine to machine, while hauling their oxygen tank, once they find a keeper, they sit back and light up a cigarette. Such a trip.

After vodka tonics I’m ready to knock out, we have some shopping to do tomorrow. I mean, oh who am I kidding I’ll let you know what I buy!

Good night lovers!

This sign is funny, it is actually posted in all the casino restrooms. I wonder how many people actually call?

This sign is funny, it is posted in all the casino restrooms. I wonder how many people actually call?

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Under The Berkeley Skies-Day 9: Younger men?

10 Tuesday Dec 2013

Posted by in Real talk, Under the Berkeley Skies

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Hello lovelies, I hope you are staying warm wherever you are! I’m currently enjoying 38 degree weather out here in Berkeley. So, unless you live in the East Coast or in the Midwest with snow don’t talk to me about how cold it is where you are, because I might just punch you in the throat.

So today’s topic is: “Younger men and older women-yay or nay?” 

“What brought this on?” You ask.

Disclaimer: Since, I don’t want to offend anyone I’m going to make up a name for this  mommy dearestperson: “Mommy Dearest” or MD. It’s actually what I call her, not to her face, of course.  See, she has a major Diva complex and she tends to forget she’s speaking to adults and not children at times, hence the name Mommy Dearest.

Anyways, today I noticed that Mommy Dearest is extra special to someone, I call this person “her favorite.” I simply thought it was because she really liked this kid (Note: I call anyone younger than me a kid, this individual is about 27).  I thought she really drank the Kool-Aid when it came to this kid, as in she believed the hype.

This guy is okay. He’s attractive but in my personal opinion he’s a bit oblivious to certain things, and that just decreases his attraction to me. But MD treats this kid as if he’s God’s gift to mankind, praises his every word and move. I just sit there, smile and nod. I don’t agree, I don’t like the flavor of the Kool-Aid, and I sure as heck did not believe the hype. But you can’t tell this person otherwise.

For a moment I thought she knew something I didn’t know. Maybe he wrote a book, won a Nobel prize, is working on a cure for cancer. Something out of this world, I mean that’s how high up on the totem pole she has put him. There just has to be more to what I see, I mean why else would MD be so over the moon for this guy.

Did you already catch on? Then you are naughtier than I am. I didn’t see it until today. Actually, someone had to point it out to me.

I was talking with my friend about how I just didn’t get this guy’s allure with MD. My friend just looked at me like “really?” I looked at her in disbelief, I just couldn’t wrap my head around it. I mean this guy can be her grandson, but apparently there’s something more there. Not necessarily on his part, but in MD’s head.

Okay, not the best example but I love this movie

Okay, not the best example but I love this movie

My friend was and is totally against something like that. I on the other hand, not so much. I don’t see anything wrong with it. Well, in this particular situation it’s difficult because he has someone already in his life, so yea this would be wrong. But in general a younger man with an older woman, I don’t see the issue.

JLo
Madonna
Mariah

Let’s get this straight, I’ve never dated a younger man. I am; however, guilty of having a tryst with a younger chap, for a while. Other, than that I have always gone for older. I believe the most recent ex-boyfriend I had was the first guy I ever dated who was my same age. Thus, you know I’m not biased when it comes to this topic.snap

The way I see it, they are both adults and if the attraction exists then go for it. Knock yourself out! You go girl!

However, I don’t believe that the women should spoil her younger partner, which is the general consensus  and why I believe these type of May-December romances get such a bad rep. Everyone believes she must be buying his attention and that her young beau is in no way truly interested in an older women. I don’t live under a rock either, so I know these type of situations do exist, but we can’t categorize all the relationships this way because of a few fools.

It did Stella some good, why not me?

It did Stella some good, why not me?

What if I’m single (hope not) and in my sixties, should young men be off limits? I say hell-to-the-NO! If I look half as good as my mother does now (she’s 62, looking insanely good for her age, I better get them genes!), you bet I’m going to be going for the cabana boys while on vacations.

So, why then and not now? Good question, I don’t have an answer; however, since moving up to Berkeley I have met some very intelligent young men. Calm down men, I’m not claiming that the men up here are smarter, just some of the ones I’ve met. Plus, half of them are not originally from Berkeley (I really don’t think anyone up here is.). Moving on, these young men have made me change my mind a little when it comes to age. I say a little because I still have an age limit. See, I have a younger brother that is 22 years old, I cannot and will not date anyone that is the same age as my brother-right now. See what I did there? That’s called CYA (Cover Your Ass), I’m not going to say anything that I might later regret.

Age is such an interesting issue, people say it’s not an issue but it really is. You are either too young for something, but yet to old for another thing. You have to be 21 to buy alcohol, but you can enlist in the military at 18. I don’t get it?

Men dating younger women, seen as the norm. Women dating younger men, she must be “keeping” him. The paradox, of course, is that the older-woman relationship makes perfect sense when it comes to life expectancy, with women outliving men by an average of five years. But with men’s fertility far outlasting women’s, biology makes the case for the older-man scenario.

Things are changing, advice for women who want to pursue younger men abounds in an explosion of magazine articles and books dedicated to cougardom.

I might need to get this book

I might need to get this book

Linda Franklin, a former Wall Street executive who is the author of a new book, “Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am! The Real Cougar Woman Handbook” said she had decided to take what she thought was an insulting term and use it to empower women.“What you see on TV in no way bears any reality to women in real life,” Ms. Franklin said. “These women take very good care of themselves, they are financially independent, and they are making different choices. That certainly does not make them desperate.”

Years ago, having kids when you were still a teenager was seen as normal. Now, it’s frowned upon. However, having children in your 40’s is also frowned upon. I’m 33 and in my culture I’m already an old maid for not having any kids by now.  What gives?

Age, is such a minimal thing but it bears so much weight on so many different things, from the relationships you form to the job you have. You can be the cougar or puma, or whatever cat they call women now, simply because you met someone younger that has all the qualities that you have been looking for. The way I see it, if you were to meet someone your age with those very same qualities, you would go for that person.Right? I know I would. Are we expected to walk away from this opportunity because he doesn’t fit in to what society thinks is acceptable? Again: Hell-to-the NO!

ohsnapI would rather lose some friends that are against my new relationship because of something as trivial as age, than walk away from a potentially good relationship. Are your friends going to keep you warm at night? Okay, maybe. You might have that one friend that is willing to share a blanket or two. But do you a friend that is willing to do what a young lover might do for or to you? Just saying, let’s keep it real folks!

Let’s not forget that sometimes it’s just about having F-U-N! Again, I see nothing wrong with that either. If your actions and choices are not harming anyone, honey go for it! Do your thang! However, make sure you have a strong backbone, you will need it; unfortunately, our world is quick to judge that which it does not understand.

I say live and let live! So to MD, if you are really enamored with this guy, more power to you. However, I would hate this to be true, because he already has someone, it won’t end well. I already know what it feels like to get excited about someone and have nothing come out of it. I wouldn’t wish that feeling on anyone.

What do you think?

Am I just a poor spinster spinning her wheels or do I make a valid point? Love is love, lust is lust, if nobody is getting hurt, just let it be. You can always turn the other way if you don’t like what you see.

Hey that rhymes, I didn’t do that knowingly. Awesome!

This spinster is getting off her soapbox now! Good night lovelies!

Just in case you don’t know who Stella is or what groove she got back, here you go!

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Under The Berkeley Skies-Day 5: We’ve lost a great one.

06 Friday Dec 2013

Posted by in Current Events, Uncategorized, Under the Berkeley Skies

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Madiba “Nelson” Mandela.  July 18, 1918 – December 5, 2013

Mandela with quote

Hello lovelies, today I greet you with a heavy heart. For today, December 5th 2013 the world has lost one of its biggest and greatest leaders Madiba “Nelson” Mandela.

Perhaps one of the most widely recognized individuals associated with love and forgiveness in governance is Nelson Mandela, who played a pivotal role in combatting apartheid in South Africa. As the first South African president elected through a fully representative democratic election, Mandela galvanized his country to pursue a path of forgiveness and reconciliation, enabling many to move past the numerous atrocities that occurred during the reign of apartheid. Having been subjected to a total of 27 years in prison, much of which he served on Robben Island, Mandela was uniquely positioned to exemplify the act of love and forgiveness for his fellow compatriots.
 
I’m sure your Facebook and television is flooding with posts or commentary about Mandela; thus, I will not do the same. I am going to post, but it will be brief-at least for today.

I admired Mandela for so many reasons, as an activist myself he is one of the greats we aspire to mirror. However, the biggest and probably the main reason why I admire and respect this man so much is because of his capability for forgiveness.

He forgave a country and it’s people even after he was unjustly imprisoned for 27 years.   He was arrested in his 20‘s and was not freed until he was in his 70‘s. How many of us could say we would do the same? He came out without any need of vengeance, to the contrary, his desire to serve humanity had increased. I find this amazing because forgiveness is something that I find so difficult, especially forgiving ourselves.

I truly believe that forgiveness is one of the hardest things to do as a Human, but yet he made it seem so easy. I will forever admire this quality and I believe it is this very quality that allowed him to be the Great Human that he was.

Mandela will forever be a force in this world, he will forever be remembered, and many of us will continue to work hard on that shared vision of Equality for all humanity.

My heart goes out to the people of South Africa and to his family.

 Here’s a short clip with his history:

Unrelated Mandela News: 

Follow up from day 4: No ghosts needles felt this time, I think I’m becoming a pro at acupuncture. I still had a headache today, but not as bad. I have another acupuncture session on Sunday, so I’m sure I’ll get better soon.

Juice was good, not too keen on the powder though. It was so…powdery (sorry English Professors!), but I can deal with it. I think I just need to get use to it.

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I am Ana!

01 Tuesday Oct 2013

Posted by in Motivational, Uncategorized

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This piece has so much passion, truth, and tears! However, the tears are mostly mine because I am Ana. His words took me back to second grade…

Second grade was rough, second grade was confusing, and it was in second grade when I was made to feel shame for the first time.

Second grade was the first class I had that was no longer bilingual.
In second grade I was told bilingual classes no longer existed, instead I would be meeting with a speech therapist once a week to help me.

Spanish is my first language. I learned to speak, read, and write in Spanish first.
I was born in California.

In second grade the school board made me the “special” kid having to leave class once a week with my big bright yellow pass.
In second grade I ditched for the first time. I didn’t walk out of school, I just hung out at the restroom for a while longer than I should. I didn’t want to, but when I would try to “forget” my “special” class, the teacher would stop what she was doing and yell “Monica time for you to go to your class.”

The kids would turn and look at me as I grabbed my big bright yellow pass.
We all knew that the yellow passes were for “special” kids.
The school board turned me into a “special kid”

I am no longer in the second grade. I am a college graduate. I am a writer.
I am no longer in second grade, but I still have moments of shame when I can’t pronounce certain words.

I act tough, but it does hurt a little when people make fun of my accent.
Sometimes a lot. Depends.

I am Ana.
I’m no longer in second grade, but yet I can’t seem to brush off the “special.”

The bright yellow pass haunts me at times, in conversations, when speaking in front of an audience or a to a new person. Will they hear the “special?”

Can YOU read the “special?”

I am Ana.
But I was in second grade first.