Random thoughts =Ideas that I ponder on throughout the day. Sometimes they will make sense, sometimes they won’t. We all have them, so no judgment. I just want to share mine, feel free to share your thoughts
I know, I know this exercise is called Daily musings, but we need to be flexible. Also, it’s hot so there’s that. What does that mean? To those outside California, it means that my will to live is hanging on by an extremely thin thread and I’m conserving my energy to keep myself from melting. So, writing is top of mind-but my desire to not move (including typing) to keep myself from sweating has more pull for the next few months.
But here’s the latest:
Friday: Lunch and my kiddo completing his first week of summer day camp were top of mind. And yes, you read that correctly-lunch. My organization is really working on ways to build connections amongst staff, especially since we are a 100% remote organization with employees all over the country. So, where we have a cluster of employees we do in-person lunches a couple times a year, and there’s even a remote lunch where the company covers your lunch as well for those that can’t do in-person. It is what it is.
I’ll admit that I do enjoy it because other LA staff are not part of my team, so it’s not as if I get to see them often. I actually enjoy our conversations, and their energy. Although, they are pleasant and marvelous. I will admit that I was really excited about the food. Ha! Yuko Kitchen I was so excited when I found out that they had a location closer to my house. Look when you’re a vegetarian and you find some delicious food, that has ambiance, and plants-you’re hooked for life. The location I first visited and fell in love with their food was far from my home, so that was a bit of a bummer. I love food, but I hate traffic more. So, when I realized they had a location closer to me I was excited. I see myself treating myself to their yumminess more often.
Now Camp. This was the first time my son had attended something where there weren’t eyes and ears on him, or that I was lingering outside making sure everything was okay. I’m not a helicopter parent, I’ve just been blessed to have a grandparent take care of my kid-so there was never a need for daycare or afterschool care. All the adults in my son’s school know him. From the Cafeteria workers to the Principal, they know him. I don’t mean to know who he is, but actually know him. A lot of that has to do with my kid’s personality (ties and top hats to school tend to make a kid stand out), he also caused a lockdown once, and it also helps that my Guncle volunteers and one of his BFF’s works in the Cafeteria.
Which means that even when my Guncle is not on campus, there’s eyes and ears letting us know what’s going on. My son takes classes on things that interest him as well on weekends or after school. We do Art, Science, Reading, and swimming at a local college or Minecraft camp at a Local Park. No matter where and for how long, I’m always there. These are places where adults have access, so I’m there too. Not in the classroom but outside, reading or doing something else. If he pokes his head out that door, he’ll find me there.
That wasn’t the case with camp, I’m dropping him off and I’m picking him up. I don’t know these people, but I’m trusting them with the most precious person in my life. My son, my heart, the love of my life. It’s a lot. The first day was rough for me. Our pep talk on the drive there was “We are kind, we are nice, but we don’t take anyone’s shit. Okay?!” I told him over and over again, if he didn’t feel comfortable to have camp staff call me and I’ll go pick him up. Every day when I picked him up, I checked in to see how it went and if he still wanted to go. On Friday, I asked if he wanted to go back the next week, “YES!!!!!” was the answer I received.
He enjoys it, he’s meeting new people. New activities, new experiences. He’s doing it. He’s having fun. The first day, he looked like the new guy at the construction site, he was so dirty I was speechless. He said he didn’t want to play sports with the other kids, so he just went to the dirt and made holes like he always does. The second day, I found him alone playing with legos. That kinda broke my heart a bit, but he was happy showing me all that he had built. The last few days, he was playing outside with other kids. Horsing around like kids do. I was happy. He was happy. My heart was smiling.
As a parent you want your kids to experience new things, but you also know these things can be scary. I changed schools every two years growing up, I remember what it was like to be the new kid. Starting a new job feels pretty similar too. So, I was worried because I know my kiddo is not your average kid. I grew extra weary when he didn’t want to wear his ties to camp. But then when we went to a party on Saturday he wore one of his ties for the occasion. He’s on vacation, so maybe his ties are for non-vacation days only? I don’t know. What I do know is that my kid is strong and pretty awesome and loving camp!
Saturday: Retirement was top of mind. We went to a retirement party for SIL’s dad. He’s been working at the same factory since I was a teenager. It was a lot of fun, we did some dancing and just had a good time. My kiddo was enjoying himself as well.
My brother and I had a deep conversation about what retirement would look like for us. When we wanted to retire, and if that would even be possible. My brother doesn’t want to retire at the same age his FIL or our mother did. He doesn’t see himself doing the same thing for as long as they did, he’s like “I don’t think my brain would be able to take it” and we both agreed that retiring until your body can no longer handle it, is not the way to go. That was the case for our mother.
It’s unfortunate that in this country, you have to hustle until you can no longer hustle no more. By then your body and spirit are so broken you can no longer enjoy the fruits of your labor. My plan a while back was to retire at 50, not completely retire but just work on projects that I enjoyed and spend most of the time traveling. Then I had a kid. Then it was like I’ll retire at 60 and be a campaigns consultant. Now I’m thinking of buying a house, that’s 30 more years of debt on top of my school loans. 60 is almost 15 years from now. I don’t think I can do that. Unless I win the lottery or get an inheritance from a rich relative; unfortunately, I think my chances are slim for both.
It just really sucks. My mother worked decades in this country, sometimes 2-3 jobs at a time. She would have continued to work if her body had allowed her too. But the work was literally crippling her. I’m her retirement plan. So, it’s not just about me-it’s about her and my son. But it’s not just the work, it’s the compensation for the work that we do. My mother didn’t get paid enough for the hard work she was doing. I was underpaid for years, I didn’t know financial security until my 40’s. How many will be in the same boat? How many other kids will join the Sandwich Generation? Will it push us to keep working until our body gives out on us in order to cover all the costs of caregiving? Will we outwork our parents to ensure their well being? Will we have enough to cover caregiving for both parent and child or will we be forced to have one go without? Who will it be: the one that brought us into the world or the ones that we brought into the world?
Don’t worry, our immediate conversation wasn’t this deep. Because there was a lot of dancing. A.Lot. Who knew my retired momma could outdance her kids.
Sunday: Hot. Heat. I want and need AC. Fuck it’s hot. Why is it so hot? It’s like hot dog breath hot! We changed our lunch plans with my friend because there was no way we were doing outdoor dining, we needed AC stat.
Honestly, today it was all about keeping cool. I don’t do well with the heat, I get crabby, sweaty, and migraines. So keeping cool is in the best interest of everyone.
How was yours? Did anything interesting happen?
Voz y Vida™ 