Random thoughts =Ideas that I ponder on throughout the day. Sometimes they will make sense, sometimes they won’t. We all have them, so no judgment. I just want to share mine, feel free to share your thoughts.
Hey everyone, so I know I skipped about a day, week from writing. It was on my mind, but there was a lot happening. When I mean a lot, I mean A.LOT.
So, let me catch you up with what’s been happening these last couple of days.
- Finished, Lucifer on Netflix. Soooo damn good. At first I wasn’t sure what to expect, as a good Catholic felt extremely guilty for watching a show about the Devil. As it progressed, I became obsessed. It gave me a little bit of Milton’s “Paradise Lost”, which I was team Satan with. If you haven’t read the poem please unclutch your pearls and read it, then decide if I’m destined to spend eternity in hell. Ironically, I felt as if my faith grew a bit, something about imagining angels roaming the earth and someone always being there. II don’t know, it just worked for me. Probably because that’s how I’ve always imagined it. There’s also something that Lucifer would say “Man always wants to blame all that goes wrong in their life on someone. Failing to realize that they have free will…” I’m paraphrasing of course, but it made sense. Our decisions and what we put out in the world is what we see, experience, and have to eventually atone for.
I stopped believing in the Devil vs. God, Heaven vs. Hell a long time ago. As Milton perfectly put it: “The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven..” I honestly believe this, we are our worst enemies or our biggest cheerleader. I can talk about this for hours, so back to the show which was as special as it was good. As Tom Ellis said in a podcast interview “…what was interesting was that the show was getting a lot of love from fans in Catholic countries.” Were they rebelling, or did it provide a glimpse of a more loving and less fire and brimstone God? Did the fact that Lucifer was able to redeem himself give us hope?
- I traveled to Detroit for a conference, that was fun as it was exhausting. The excitement started on my way to the airport as I missed my flight. Not so exciting but it also wasn’t the end of the world. I’ll explain. I recently finished reading “Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies” by Tara Schuster there’s a lot of things that I learned from this book (I have a book review pending) but for now I’ll touch on what comes into play here. Schuster highlights the need to live in total appreciation and gratitude, even when things seem fucked up. Focus on what you do have. On what is going right, no matter how small. The small will lead you to the big, which will lead you to a shift. Which can bring the clarity you needed to get out of that dumpster fire and/or simply change how you go about reacting to said fire. This resonated because I’m a Wayne Dyer fan and he always said “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change” . Sounds extremely similar to what Schuster is saying, so I told myself I was going to be more intentional with it.
This was my chance to prove I could. I was hoping to be at the airport at 5:30am-I check-in bags so I need extra time (there’s a reason for this but not now). Unfortunately, that didn’t happen because when I was finally able to get an Uber to pick me up, their arrival time to my location was 5:20 am. When I got in that car, I knew I wasn’t going to make it. As we got stuck in traffic on the way to LAX, I knew I wasn’t going to make it.
As I sat in the Uber, stuck in traffic I decided I wasn’t going to lose my shit. There was no point, I was late. Getting upset wasn’t going to change anything. So, I took a few breaths, reminded myself that at an airport there’s usually people there that can help you (it happened to me in DC too), the important part was getting to the airport and I was on my way. Focusing on the good-I was on my way. Guess what, I got on a later flight, got to enjoy my breakfast, and sat next to a nice lady. Surprisingly my boss was on the same flight so she paid for our cab ride from the airport to our team meeting spot when we arrived. The less reimbursements the better. Changing my reaction and how I processed this really helped, it ensured that I stayed in a positive flow.
While in Detroit I got to see some art, and learned that there was an actual Mexicantown by the Michigan and Canada border. Didn’t realize how close the border was, because we were in Mexicantown. I also got to visit the Detroit Institute of Arts Museum, where I got to see Diego Rivera’s mural Detroit Industry. It was as beautiful as it was powerful. I was blown away by it. The docent asked me if I was an art student (can’t lie this made me puff up a bit) because I knew the story behind some of the imagery in the mural and about Rivera’s life. I simply replied with “Oh no, I just simply love Frida and to love her and her art, you must know Diego”. He was a big influence in her art. As she was in his.
Another exhibit that was amazing was Regeneration: Black Cinema 1898 – 1971 which honors the legacy of African American filmmakers and actors from the dawn of cinema, through the golden age, and into the aftermath of the Civil Rights Movement. Powerful stuff.
- Also thanks to Tara Schuster’s book-I’m going to try to amp up my dressing up game. In her book she calls it “I Get Ready Like Cleopatra” I’m not going to go full Cleo, but maybe like one of her servants (she treated them well, so I’m sure they weren’t raggedy)? Since working from home I’ve really gotten a bit laxed in this department. I used to always do my hair, makeup, and boy did I accessorize when I had to go into the office. My Betsy Johnson accessories are just hanging there, they haven’t been worn in a while. So, this summer I’m challenging myself to Cleo myself up a bit. I love feeling cute, I may not look it to others, but as long as I’m feeling myself-I’m happy.
I need this in more ways than one. I realized in Detroit, thanks to the excellent lighting in my hotel bathroom that I’m pretty harsh with myself. I have no filter when the negativity it’s aimed at me, I need to change that. I would never say the things that I said and thought about myself to anyone else, so why am I being so cruel to myself? Maybe going full Cleo won’t help this, but I’m going to start somewhere. The first step was realizing what I was saying and catching it as it was said. Once I realized what I was thinking I sat with it for a bit. I didn’t want to simply dismiss the shitty thoughts, I wanted to understand why I was thinking them, and why I thought it was okay to treat myself that way. So, I sat with them for a bit. I’m still sitting with them. Some of it was pretty darn mean. Luckily I caught it in time, so not much damage. But I’m focusing on the why of it all.
- Bridgerton, finished that and I loved it. I didn’t do the whole piecemeal shit they did this season. I hate that. I just wait until the entire season is ready for me to binge. I binged, I swooned, and I approved. I also started watching Outlander, like damn! For some reason this didn’t catch my attention early on, but now I’m invested. Like might fly out to Scotland invested. At least I’m getting some type of fictional romance in my life, because in real life not so much. Saw a fine AF man in Detroit that fit my “type” profile to a T, and didn’t shoot my shot. 20 year old me would be pissed off about this, she was bold and a little cocky. 40 yo me? Not so much. But damn was he fine or was it the suit? You never know.
Doesn’t seem like a lot now that I wrote it all out. Look conferences are exhausting, especially when your organization is hosting. There’s also the social battery that gets depleted by the end of the night. I would go to my hotel room, facetime with my offspring, then search for a Bones marathon (best show ever) on TV, set up the sleep timer and eventually fall asleep. I took books, but was too tired to read. I had every intention to write, I promise you that-but too tired. However, let’s pick things back up now. We must be flexible.
Voz y Vida™ 