Look for the Good…even when its hard!

I really wanted to write about how crazy it is that facemasks have become political. But my heart is pushing me towards a different topic. Yesterday, evening I was having a video chat with some friends. We were catching up on life and sharing stories on how dumb some people really are regarding the pandemic and how dark they felt this holiday season was going to be. I heard that line and it didn’t sit right. My comeback was like “it will be different, but we have to see the good!”

Please don’t think I said this without considering the fact that we are in a pandemic, and that people are dying left and right. I’m in the new epicenter, where we are in lockdown and our hospitals have 6% capacity. Yea, I get it.

I also have a five year old that is having a hard time understanding that we can’t just climb the back wall to play.

I get it. Shit is dark. Things are not good. BUT, we have to see the good. We have to look for the good. If not, we are doomed.

I know, it’s rough. I’m sure you’re probably cringing as you read this thinking I’ve lost my marbles. The truth of the matter is that my marbles are perfectly where they should be, intact. What I’ve lost is my notion of fear, my desire to believe that what we knew as normal or now pre-pandemic was the only notion of normalcy attainable.

Image by Mike Reddy for Statnews.com

We’ve been in this for nine months, some of us had a hard time in the beginning but adapted. Others are thriving, others are struggling, and some of ya’ll are just acting a fool as if nothing is happening. It’s been a long time, so far its outlasted any of my relationships and it’s not fucked me over, nope, not even once. The pandemic has remained the same, contagious, we’ve been informed on what to do to lower the curve, but some of us have chosen to ignore it. It hasn’t changed, its effects in stopping our world have not changed, but how we react to it needs to.

Look, I have no real idea where I’m going with this. But what I do know is that we must see the good in everything. Trust me, I know that each of has been hit differently and hard by this pandemic and the recession that followed. I was unemployed for five months, struggling to homeschool my kiddo, witnessing how some businesses are shutting down, while others are worried about their rent and bills. I get it, I do.

Shit is dire, but we have to acknowledge the fact that if we don’t see the good. If we don’t try to have hope, this will eat us up alive. For our sanity we must believe that we will come out of this on top. We will come out of this with a new outlook, thriving, some of us might have battle scars, heartbreak, but we will come out of this wiser.

Maybe it’s my belief in Christmas Magic. Maybe it’s my belief in miracles and hope. Maybe it’s my belief in our resilience. Is it naïve to believe that maybe, just maybe our elected officials will realize how much they can help ease our burden by finally agreeing on a damn package (must include checks, of course). Naïve of me to think that we are finally going to stop thinking with ego in mind, solely about the “I or me” and start taking into consideration the Collective WE?  Some of you might think so, but to those of you that think me naïve, tell me why?

I mean we’ve had some Republicans and big banks come in favor of a relief package that provides direct assistance. When does that happen? We’ve seen businesses become food banks, we’ve seen transformation on how we act and think. (check out my previous gratitude post)

“But Mónica the rich and the celebrities…” They continue to be them, you see I was never invested in what they did or had. They were not part of my normal, their actions never impacted my life, they only entertained it. Even they have had a hard time keeping themselves relevant during these trying times, some have failed miserably doing so. But unless, Bill Gates moves in next door and his dog keeps crapping on my lawn, I really don’t care what he does or says.

To some that might make me naïve, to others this might make sense. The fact of the matter my dear, what they do is none of our business. How we engage and present ourselves to those closest to us, is.

Are you kind and generous? Understanding that we are all trying to cope the best way we know how with our current situation or are you walking around as a victim? Lashing out at everyone you come in contact with. Either because they don’t drive fast or slow enough, because they are not open, or make you wear a mask to pick up your favorite coffee order, because they won’t bag your groceries when you bring your own bag? Upset because the older woman in front of you is taking a little longer than usual to pay because she’s having a hard time grasping her coin purse with gloves on?

Yesterday, my friend said something to me that made me understand just how beautiful of a human he is. He shared with me that crime in his area has gone up, more and more packages are getting stolen, his response to this “…I get it. It sucks, but people are struggling, financially people are struggling…” he shrugged it off to humans trying to survive and he did it with a smile. I’m sure it’s a nuisance and it sucks bigtime but he chose compassion over anger. He knew compassion is a much better roommate to live with than anger. At that moment, I realized I was blessed to have him in my life.

Look, I’m not naïve or an idiot to believe we will kumbaya this away. For some, our circumstances might even make praying a difficult task. We are living some tough shit right now, but this is our time to shine humanity! This is when those of us that can-help. I’m not talking about financially, that’s not the only way to help. If they can’t pray, then let’s drop to our knees and do it for them. If we can help financially, let’s do it. If we have some extra coats, let’s donate them to a family in need. Did we go crazy with the hoarding of canned goods? Do we have some extra that we can give away? Then let’s do it. Can we show a little more compassion and patience to people in the street? Handle!

Have some extra boardgames or activities that your neighbors kids or shelters might need to keep the little ones entertained? Then why not Marie Kondo it? Do you know of a family member that is struggling and you said the “if you need anything ask me” but you know they won’t because they are too proud or embarrassed to do so? Venmo some cash or give them some gift cards as a gift not a loan. A dear loved one did this for me, I had enough to cover one more month of bills and groceries. Then Venmo sent me a message, someone had sent me a gift. It was more than enough to cover my health insurance (my biggest expense) and some. It helped me so much. Now that I have income, it’s my turn to pay it forward to others in need.

See someone selling flowers on the corner, buy some. Leave a tip when you pick up your order, give a little extra than 15% if you can. Can we wear a mask? Let’s get crazy and do it! It’s our time to shine

Most importantly, can you be a little more compassionate with yourself? We didn’t know this was coming, nobody knows the best way to deal or cope with this. We are all doing the best we can, so, give yourself a break. You too are doing the best you can.

If you can’t see the good, then create the good.

Author: monilazo

So many things to say, but not sure how to say it. We will go with the best and simplest answer, I'm one bad ass Unicorn. Yup, there's only one of me and once you get to know you'll understand why that's a good thing. I say what's on my mind and I'm not afraid to call out BS, as I am also the first to admit when I'm wrong. If you want to find out more, check out my site. There will be a little bit of everything, going through a change...so stay tuned. Subscribe to my blog to make sure you don't miss a beat!

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